monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

(via amber96637)

cakejam:

”Can i have some of your-“

image

(via neatpotatoes)

god-yes-sherlock:

a-creepy-wholockian:

shisno:

daughter-of-the-stars:

"You hit like a girl," the strong female character says

"Stop being such a girl," the strong female character says

"Man up," the strong female character says

"Shut the fuck up," I whisper

#stop using my gender as an insult

image

(via imafangirlduh1995)

pau1y:

what if 911 called you

(via amber96637)

sorelatable:

SUMMER KINDA STRESSES ME OUT BC I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO BE DOING SOMETHING FUN AT ALL HOURS OR ELSE IM WASTING SUMMER IS THAT JUST ME OR

(via bandsandbeans)

o-dawgtheinvincible:

sigmarikz:

certaflyably:

thirstingaintdead:

Top 3 phrases that’ll create sexual tension

  1. "Make me",
  2. "oh really",
  3. "is that so"

"prove it"

"What’s in it for me?"

"The Black Death was one of the most devastating pandemics in human history, resulting in the deaths of an estimated 75 to 200 million people and peaking in Europe in the years 1348–50 CE."

(via neatpotatoes)

Anonymous:
im 13 and my boyfriend wants me to spend the night what should i wear